When what you create surprises you …

"... there are seasons
in all our lives 
learning in any mistake 
feed more wood
to a failing fire 
if the flame still falters
that’s your sign  
to start over ..."

For the writers among you, I wonder do you ever set out to write a piece, only to find that what emerges is entirely different to what you had envisaged? This is not only true of writers, but of all creatives, I’m sure.  This happens to me occasionally, but most often, the resulting poem is pretty much what I thought I’d write.  There are rare times when what surfaces takes me by surprise.  That’s what happened with this week’s poem.  It just came out one early morning, as I set out to write something quite different.  

Of course, when I think about it, I can identify the steps leading to this poem’s creation.  I think we’re all influenced by things that we experience, big and small, on a daily basis.  It might be a chance meeting on a bus; something you listen to purposefully, or quite by accident.  A seemingly innocuous event might just grab you in ways you can’t explain, such as observing something in the street as you’re sat in a traffic jam.  (Maybe that’s just me?).  Here’s the thing: the closer the attention you pay to the world, the more it will inspire you.   

The stars were aligned for this poem to show up, even though I didn’t know it was what I needed to write.  For starters, I met my mum for lunch, which is something we do occasionally.  Naturally, siblings were mentioned during our chat.  I also had coffee with a friend who has some challenges in her own family (who doesn’t?).   That got me thinking about how we all carefully navigate our way through family relationships.  And, as always, I’ve been binging on my usual weekly diet of podcasts and radio programmes.  It all seeps in at some level, along with the national news, the weather and the price of petrol.  You name it, it’s all in the mix.  Life happens and our responses are reflected in all we do, like it or not. 

I’ve  recently listened to a fantastic interview on Sam Baker’s podcast, The Shift, with the brilliant Abi Morgan, discussing her book, This is not a pity memoire.  (A back-episode from 2022).  I was so moved by her story, that it’s been added to my ever growing list of books to read.  The advice, never dim your light, comes from her.  She, in turn, quotes Nora Ephron’s advice to be the hero not the victim of your own story.  I love that different women’s voices have turned up in my poem, serving as beacons of light when I might otherwise feel bereft of inspiration closer to home.  

Truth is, I’d dearly love to be the person who both cherishes her siblings and is valued in return.  I’d love to shop with; eat, gossip and reminisce with; swap clothes, books and music with siblings.  But that’s not my story.  Truth is, very few of us live the perfect life, if any.  Does perfect even exist?  It doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate the positive and nurturing relationships I do have.  I am a proud daughter, cousin, aunt, and wife to a select few, grateful for the privilege.  I am friend to many more.  

Recently, I also met an ex-work colleague for lunch.  We talked away the afternoon, and it was a sheer delight to observe how she’s thriving in a new role, in a different organisation.  She’s one of my soul sisters; I’m lucky to have more than one.  

Not everyone has a sibling, but I hope everyone can call at least one person friend.  Whatever relationships you have, I hope you can cherish at least one or two. Be the hero in your lives and not the victim please! 

This is my 40th post since the beginning of my blog, fiwynnewrites. It feels like the right time to take a short break as I enter into my 60th birthday month. I’m going to be travelling around Shetland, looking forward to slowing down, appreciating nature and giving my body and soul batteries an opportunity to recharge. I will return in June with more poems and prose x