Tag: balance

  • When you’re between life’s highs and lows …

    ".... seems sometimes 
    you’re travelling 
    in circles
    mountains you thought 
    you’d conquered
    rise up before you 
    again and again ..."

    It’s hard to believe that we returned from our big trip to Iceland and the Faroe Islands in mid-November.  Winter has been and gone and before too long, we’ll be setting out on our next trip in the camper van.  I’ll be honest, it took me some time to adapt to being back home, to being fully present.  Part of me was still operating at a much slower pace, Scandinavian-style.  I’m not sure I’ve every truly caught up, which suits me just fine.  

    Of course, I’ve slipped back into lots of things almost unconsciously.  I’m mentally planning out my days and writing lists.  I’m back to doing all the admin stuff that takes up so much of daily life: thinking about what to cook, then cooking it; wondering what to wear; doing laundry; sorting the household accounts; tackling housework.  The trappings with which we’re all familiar, right?  This is normal.  I get that completely.  Yes, occasionally it feels mundane.  Part of me yearns for the road we took round Iceland’s West Fjords, choosing where and when to swim. But, at the same time, I sometimes have to pinch myself that I’m home in what is a beautiful part of the world.  Spring is in the air, and I can go cycling or running straight out of my front door.  I appreciate the comforts of home, the convenience of my washing machine and kitchen. I can meet friends for coffee, have lunch with my mum, sleep in my own bed.  With a wardrobe full of clothes, I can chose to dress up or dress down (let’s be honest, it’s mostly the latter!).  I’ve had a winter of cinema trips and dinners dates to add variety to all the household jobs aforementioned.  

    This is the reality for most of us, if we are lucky.  It isn’t lost on me, that it’s a luxury to have a house to clean, clothes to wash, money to spend.  You only have to listen to the news to appreciate just how privileged we are.  Right now, I imagine a lot of people are going through very tough times.  Life sometimes can appear very black and white, but it’s rarely that straight forward.  

    Rural scene of a deep glen with mountains raising up on both sides.

    This week’s poem could easily have been written in these times; it feels as relevant today as it did when I wrote it over a decade ago.  In my experience, most of life is lived on the plateau between the peaks and troughs.  It doesn’t always feel that way, most especially when you’re going through a bad patch.  But a patch it is: it isn’t permanent.  For good or ill, nothing ever stays the same.  The highs are just as impermanent as the lows.   For the most part, we live in state of flux between physical and emotional states.  Every now and again, the balance will feel just right.  In my own experience, that’s rare, but can and does happen.  

    If you, like me, are blessed, you’ll have stretches of time when life feels normal, perhaps even ordinary.  Don’t underestimate times like this!  I have a ceramic coaster in my house that reminds me to: enjoy the little things as one day you will look back and realise they were the big things.  It sounds simple but also very wise.  I wrote this poem during a difficult time in my life, juggling competing demands both at home and at work.  It forced me to focus on what matters most in life.  I realised it wasn’t the highs or lows where life was most lived, but in the spaces between.  Give me mundane any day of the week, I’ll take it and be grateful. 

    the plateaux betweenDownload

  • What the spring equinox teaches me …

    "... time to nurture 
    the habit of gentleness 
    plant seeds of kindness 
    starting with myself
    allow space 
    for creativity to grow ..."

    Last weekend, we in the northern hemisphere, celebrated the spring equinox, which marks a moment of balance between the light and dark, the day and night.  From now until the end of June, the days will grow longer, whilst the nights grows shorter.  It’s a helpful reminder, I think, that everything is connected.  Springtime is the perfect opportunity to consider the different aspects of our lives and if they are held in balance. Should we be doing more of one thing and less of another?  Only we can know.  

    I spent most of my working life searching for a better work/life balance and never really managed it.  In fact, I was rubbish at it.  I invariably put work first and myself last.  It made me ill, not once but twice. I needed time out, and of course, I never gave myself permission to recuperate fully before, once again, diving back in.  Of course, the organisation I worked for was more than happy to turn a blind eye whilst I worked myself to death, but on reflection, I know it was my own fault.  I was (and remain to a lesser degree) a people pleaser.  I was a woman in what still felt like a man’s world.  I was bright but never brilliant, thus always felt I had to work doubly hard to keep up.  It was exhausting.  

    When you suffer from vertigo, which affects physical balance, you will feel unsteady of your feet.  There’s a constant need to check yourself.  If you forget, you’re likely to stumble and fall.  A lack of mental balance feels the same.  I often felt anxious; I had to check myself to prevent panic setting in.  

    It was only when I stopped work that I truly appreciated just how important balance is.  I guess I always knew this, deep down, but simply wasn’t ready to accept it.  I knew that to achieve balance in my life, something had to give, and it was never going to be my job.  I’m not proud of this, but it’s the truth.  

    When I look back now, I can see that I did relent to some degree. I stepped back when I realised that it was too much, albeit I took almost my entire career to reach that point.  It came at a price but it was a price worth paying; I did recover.  Recovery shouldn’t be that drastic or difficult but then, if you’ve been reading the blog, you’ll know that I usually do things the hard way.   Check out my earlier post, if you haven’t seen it: https://fiwynne.com/2026/02/11/why-i-make-things-harder-than-they-have-to-be/

    A grassy hillside, with sunlight lighting up half the sky and hillside, with the other half in shade.

    Spring and winter equinox, summer and winter solstice, all offer assurance that life is cyclical.  If you miss an opportunity to make a change, don’t worry, it’ll come round again.  I wrote this poem, not in springtime, but in autumn.  When I think about it now, it makes perfect sense.  Autumn’s the time you start to prepare for the following spring. You plant bulbs, giving them time to slowly settle over the winter months.  Mentally, I was thinking ahead to retirement and future plans.  I fully embraced the opportunity to plant new ideas, gathering momentum as my year has progressed.  I sought to re-balance priorities and make space for new growth.  It worked!  It’s amazing what flows into your life when you make space for it to happen. 

    Our internal cycles don’t necessarily follow those of our planet, but there’s no better time than now to think about our life balance and consider if it’s time to plant new internal seeds, and make space for them to grow.  What are you waiting for? 

    second springDownload