"... past my middle age
but not yet ancient
I've everything to live for
nothing left to prove ..."
I recently joined a writing group, with a view to broadening my horizons. I’m thinking that perhaps I’ll meet some kindred spirits, be inspired by other people’s work, benefit from constructive feedback and, as a consequence, write better. It’s early days and the jury’s still out but I’m determined to give it six months. It may work, it may not. I may find my tribe, I may not. Either way, at least I will have tried.
It’s good to venture out of your comfort zone occasionally, don’t you think? It’s all too easy to stick with what feels safe and persuade yourself that it’s enough. Fair play, for some, maybe it is. But if you have a creative streak, then I doubt it will ever feel enough. There’s a thirst to improve and experiment with different ideas. You can’t do that in isolation. You need to engage with others, listen and learn, make mistakes.
We meet once a month and write, in whatever form we choose, on a topic that will have been agreed the previous month. The only rule is that you have just 5 minutes to read it out. It doesn’t sound much, does it? In fact, it’s harder to write less than more.
Last month’s topic was: youth is wasted on the young. This week’s poem is the one I wrote in response. It was fascinating to note how everyone took a different approach to this subject. We all experience ageing in one way or another, and most of us will have an opinion about it, which will undoubtedly change in time. What we thought of older people when we were children will be entirely different to what we think as adults. Let’s face it, we thought everyone who had left school was old! I considered my grandparents to be ancient when I was little and yet, they were younger than I am now. No doubt, my nephew’s two sons probably think I’m an old lady and I’m only 60!
How interesting that I write “only 60”. That speaks volumes doesn’t it? We have, in western culture, such a negative view of ageing. I don’t think that’s universal. In some cultures ageing is regarded more favourably; elders are respected for both their authority and wisdom.
I could probably write a book on this topic alone. There are so many different avenues to explore, but we’d be here all day and you’ve got lives to lead! And, anyway, it would miss the point entirely. Sometimes, when you write, you discover parts of yourself that you didn’t fully appreciate or understand. This is particularly true when you write on a topic you might not have chosen yourself. You have to pause and think about what you could contribute. What I realised was that we can be ageist at and about any age. Our attitude to ourselves as we age is highly likely to influence how we age. Of course other factors beyond our control may also influence our experience. We may develop medical conditions but, still, how we respond to illness is within our control. In any case, illness can affect us at any age, as I’m sure we all know.
We can spend our whole lives thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. When we are children, we may yearn for the time we will be grown up and able to make our own decisions. When we are young people, we may envy the real grown ups who have established careers and a mortgage under their belt. Then when we reach middle age, we might start to look backwards, reminiscing about how simple life was before we had children and careers. See what I mean?
As I have grown older, I’ve increasingly valued living in the moment. Not thinking about the past or the future, but just enjoying the now. I have spent so much of my life fretting about the past and/or planning for the future, and it all feels such a waste. I don’t know about you, but I’m done with waste. Life, at any age, is to be lived as fully as you can live it, that’s my motto these days.
Remember it’s all about connection! Please do comment.