How paying attention enriches your life …

"... this sense of peace 
typifies the way 
you always 
made me feel 
my stride confident 
because of you ..."

Earlier this month, on what was a grey, dreary day, I rustled up a quick dessert, to pop in my fridge ready for friends coming for dinner the following day.  So far, so good.  Except it wasn’t as quick as it should’ve been.  Trying to do two things at once, I let a pan boil over, ruining the cream that should be hot but not boiling.  The second attempt was easier.  I slowed down.  Concentrated.  Not that you need much concentration for this painfully simply but delicious pudding, but you do need to pay attention!

When I cook or bake, I often listen to music, but other times, I prefer silence.  Silence prompts thoughts that otherwise might not make it through the noise.  Mopping up the mess on the stove, I soaked up the silence, reflecting on why paying attention matters on many levels.  

American poet, Mary Oliver, inspired her readers to pay attention to the world around them, most particularly nature.  In her poem, Yes! No!, she announced: To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.  (from her collection, Owls and Other Fantasies, 2003).  I think so much of poetry is a testament to how poets pay attention to the world around and within them.  I used to always carry a notebook and pen wherever I went, just in case an idea came to me that I simply had to record.  I learnt the hard way that hoping I’d remember it when I got home simply didn’t work.  I never did remember.  For the same reason, I kept a notebook on my bedside table.  The notebook by the bed still exists, but these days I rely on my phone to record my thoughts when I am out and about.  It’s perhaps not as romantic as a lovely notebook, but it’s certainly easier to read the typeset rather than my dreadful handwriting! 

I’m blessed to have met and befriended people in my life who have inspired and encouraged me to pay attention, to look deeper, to be open to differing perspectives, and to be curious.  Whilst preparing that dessert, I was thinking most particularly of one such friend, who was a very talented artist (and many other things besides).  I stayed at her house many times over the years and she often made this same dessert.  I enjoyed it immensely and finally asked her for the recipe.  I’ve no idea what she called it, but in our house it is simply “Veronica’s Dessert”.  I think of her every time I make it.  It feels particularly pertinent in February because this is the month in which she died.  Unlike the weather this year, it was mild on the day I heard the sad news; I was walking through the streets, under a bright winter moon.  I was about to meet another friend for dinner, to celebrate her birthday.  

That night, we also celebrated Veronica; she had lived such a rich, creative life.  She was over twice my age, yet we gelled almost immediately and were firm friends for over 30 years.  She was one of the most generous, engaging and inspirational women I’ve ever met.  This week’s poem is one I wrote for her, which I read at her funeral.  I’ll be honest, it’s not the most literary poem I’ve ever written, but it is heartfelt.  Sometimes, we all just need to be reminded to focus on what truly matters in life.  This blog is all about connection through creativity after all.  

Perhaps there are people in your life that have been truly inspirational?  I hope so.  For me, the best people, are those in whose presence we feel enriched.  They encourage us to pay more attention to life, to be the best version of ourselves and to show up for others in the ways they have showed up for us. I hope you can spend the rest of this day paying particular attention to what matters most to you. 

Here’s Veronica’s recipe: Ingredients – 6 oz good plain chocolate, 1/2 pint of single cream, 1x egg, dash of salt, 1 tsp of vanilla essence.  Method – Heat cream until hot but not boiling.  Break up the chocolate into separate squares and place into a bowl.  Pour the hot cream over the chocolate.  Beat until the chocolate has fully melted.  Then add the remaining ingredients and mix until smooth.  Pour the mixture into 6-8 individual pots and refrigerate until approx 1 hour before consumption.  This is a rich dessert and you don’t need a lot of it.  I usually serve with a shortbread biscuit and some fresh or stewed fruit, depending on the season.  (It also freezes well!)