"... people can spend whole lives
planning for paradise
not realising
it’s already here ..."
It may feel incongruous to feature a poem in the midst of summer that was clearly written in the depths of winter. I don’t know about you, but when you turn on the news and hear about a very public suicide, then it feels appropriate to talk of dark days. I knew nothing at all about Jason Arday, only becoming aware of him as a result of the recent controversy over his professorship. But it almost doesn’t matter. Whatever the truth behind this story, the simple fact is that someone felt so bleak, that the only way out was to take their life. That’s incredibly sad.
I feel sure that everyone reading this will have faced difficult times in their lives. It’s impossible, isn’t it, to know what people are going through at any given time? It’s hard enough to understand ourselves, let alone appreciate the complexities of others’ thoughts and feelings. But we can feel empathy and I imagine most of us will have felt sad to hear the news of this untimely death, regardless of what you may think about the reasons behind it.
For some, it may have been triggering. If you have lost someone you love to suicide, perhaps it brought it all back. Perhaps you have felt suicidal yourself at times, but here you still are. I’m glad you’re here. Whatever it is that keeps you going, honour it. It’s so easy to take the things we love and value most for granted; it’s sobering that it takes a tragedy for us to appreciate, once again, just how precious life is.
I wrote this poem in the midst of a long winter. I normally love the wintertime, but must have been feeling particularly low that year, for reasons that are no longer important. I went out for a walk and, as is so often the case, nature worked its magic. I knew, despite everything around me appearing dead, that life was going on under the surface. Everything was preparing for spring even in the heart of winter. It reminded me of the impermanence of everything. The fact that nothing stays the same, can feel overwhelming at times but, equally, can feel reassuring. There are nearly always at least two sides to every situation. Think of it like two sides of a coin; when life feels bleak, flip the coin if you can, and consider a different perspective.
I’m not saying it’s always easy. Life’s complicated and often hard. I know that. Yet, it’s equally true to say that we’re all stronger than we think. We have huge capacity to love, to change and to grow. We really do.
I was thinking today, as I was out riding my bike, that when your legs are tired and the road ahead feels daunting, it may be tempting to stop. But if you stop on an incline, then starting again is much more challenging. You can choose to drop to a lower gear, and keep pedalling. Instead of looking at the road ahead, you can look to the left or the right, admiring the beautiful scenery. Before you know it, you’ve made it to the top of the hill. There is always a choice, no matter what.
My hope for all of us is that we treat ourselves and others with kindness. I am not a religious person, but I do believe in miracles. They happen all the time! In the random acts of kindness we experience: when someone finds something you have lost and hands it in (like my handbag once in Sweden, containing my cash and passport); when a friend sends you a card through the post that you weren’t expecting; or when someone asks you how you are and stops to listen to your answer. Nature shows us how a tiny acorn can grow into a mighty oak. Just think what we could do if we tried, for ourselves and those we love; isn’t it worth a go?
