"... what if we tried
to let go
and let be
focus our energies
on finding
our true selves
we each could live
long and well
in our chosen skins ..."
As a child, I was an avid reader and found my first heroes in the pages of books. Classics such as Heidi, Little Women and Black Beauty fired my imagination, but my favourite was Laura Ingalls Wilder and I read all the books as well as watched the series, Little House on the Prairie. I loved her fiery spirit and could very much relate to the curse of living under the shadow of the all-so-perfect older sister.
I think we all look to others for inspiration; they help us navigate through life, trying to understand who we are as people and where we fit. One of the first truly inspirational person I met in the flesh, was the wife of a family friend. Unlike other grown ups I’d encountered, she wore faded jeans and wandered around in bare feet. She was a terrible cook, and was often seen with an open paperback in her left hand as she stirred the pot with her right. I never saw her with make-up and the closest she got to grooming was to put her hair in a ponytail. She was a free spirit and I loved her for it.
It took me a long time to find my true self. To some this seems to come easy, but I’m sure it isn’t. As a child, I used to think everyone else’s family was normal and mine wasn’t. My parents divorced when I was in secondary school, which was unusual in the 1970’s. Now, of course, I know that normal simply doesn’t exist. I wish I’d learnt that sooner: it would’ve saved me a whole lot of angst!
When you don’t know who you truly are, it’s tempting to try to be something you are not. I’ve done that countless times through the decades. It never does work, at least not in my experience. No end of people trying to dissuade you seems to work either; you have to discover it for yourself. That said, I’ve lost count of how many incredible people I’ve met in life who have inspired me, either through something they have done or said, or simply in the way they choose to live. There were a handful of brilliant teachers, parents of friends, managers at work, and some public figures who particularly impressed me. I’ve been inspired by poets, songwriters, authors and their fictional characters. My life has been made all the richer due to people, real and fictional, that have helped shaped my character and I’m extremely grateful.
This is a very recent poem, written in the Faroe Islands, where I was lucky enough to visit the statute of the mythical seal woman of Mikladalur. This myth is not unique to these parts and, indeed, I read about such myths, and many more, in Sharon Blackie’s fascinating book, “If Women Rose Rooted”. It got me thinking about the seal woman and her mythical life. She was forced to live as a human for many years, wife to the man who stole her skin. What must that have been like, I thought, but then I realised that, sadly, it was perhaps not that unusual a story.
So many of us end up living a life not of our choosing and we may spend our lives searching for what we should be. The journey is all part of life isn’t it, and I think it matters as much as the destination, if not more so. It can feel frustrating at times and most paths are not linear. We go back and forth, learning and unlearning, most of our lives. That’s all part of the story and is made the richer for it. Wherever you are on your journey, I hope you find the path to your true self.
