Tag: 2023

year in which poem was written

Why frost warms my heart …
```
"... if we were kind 
and wise like trees 
what thaws might we unleash 
imagine the power 
of a stranger’s smile 
the touch of a hand 
warm on weary skin ..." 
```
There are a whole range of reasons why this poem felt like the right one to share this week. Is it just me, or does it feel like the world is imploding right now? I have to brace myself every time I listen to the news and, equally, have to brace myself against the storms every time I venture outside. In some ways, the weather offers up a sense of perspective. As is so often the way with nature, it reminds me that we’re not in charge. The world will keep on turning despite all our efforts to seemingly press the self-destruct button. I think it’s a good metaphor; we do seem hell bent sometimes on destruction, but mostly we are damaging ourselves. The world is stronger than we think; nature is resilient. Despite the damage we’ve done to the planet, (let’s be honest, climate change is happening), nature has an amazing way of bouncing back. Rewilding projects are demonstrating, the world over, that nature can and will recover if we can just learn to let it.

The podcast phenomenon, Mel Robbins, has coined the phrase let them, in an effort to encourage people to let go and let be. It’s so obvious when you think about it, but then it’s often the simplest things that we forget.

I’m trying to adopt the practice of letting go of the 24 hour news culture. I try, within reason, to keep abreast of current affairs, but frankly, it changes so fast, I can’t keep up. Questions such as: who is switching political parties, who wants to take over what country, what tariffs are threatened today … it’s exhausting and debilitating. Much of it feels like wasted effort when, within hours, the situation changes and the news frenzy starts all over again.

What I need to stay sane is balance. Having listened to the Monday morning offerings of chaos and carnage on Radio 4’s Today programme, it’s refreshing to listen to 15 minutes of Cafe Hope. This weekly programme focuses on good news stories from across Britain, which does what it says on the tin. For me anyway, it offers up hope. Whilst, again, it may seem obvious, it’s good to be reminded that the majority of people are decent, honest and kind hearted. People genuinely do care and will go to incredible lengths to help others; I love that and feel grateful for it.

I wrote this poem during a cold spell of winter a few years ago. It felt joyous to be outside in the crisp, cold air, wrapped up in winter woollies. Whilst it was tempting to walk at pace, in an effort to stay warm, the calming effect of the white, frosty landscape, slowed me down. There’s something about snow and frost that settles me; I want to stop and honour the serenity of the scene, soak up the silence and bask in the wonder of how everything looks so fresh and new. It prompts me to review my own sense of self, to allow a shift of perspective, to believe that I too can respond to changing circumstance. I don’t have to stay stuck in whatever mood, decision or state I find myself in. I can adapt.

What’s more, I don’t have to do it alone. On the day this poem was born, I was scrabbling around in the woods, trying to capture images of the hoar frost with my phone. It was then I noticed under the shelter of the trees, that the ground was softer, and frost free. Plants were emerging despite the cold spell. It seemed such a small thing but it made me smile.

It only takes small things to make a huge difference doesn’t it? None of us have to do this alone, we have each other; an encouraging word might be all you need to keep going on days it is particularly tough. I’m sure we can all think of examples of when a small kindness has meant the world. In the current climate, when so much feels bleak, it’s good to remember that there are pockets of real and virtual shelter everywhere, where we can all find hope and the means to thrive.

hoar frost Download
04/02/2026
How anxiety can be both a blessing and a curse …
```
"... be kind to yourself and others 
listen to your voice
and know that
others' expectations of you
will never surpass your own 
no one else can fill 
the space you fill
anxiety has been 
and remains part of you
but so too joy ..."
```
This is not an easy poem to share or reflect on, but came at a time when I was feeling particularly anxious. These times fluctuate and, like most people, I can go for days, weeks, months, when everything appears to be going well, and I feel confident and capable. Most people I worked with would be surprised to hear me say that I often felt anxious about work: mostly about my workload and my ability to juggle it. But I also had doubts about my ability to meet expectations, to be good enough, and to make a positive difference.

People talk about imposter syndrome, which in the old days, was akin to having an inferiority complex. It doesn’t matter what you call it, I think a lot of people feel it at some time or another, and it often follows them, like a shadow, most of their lives. I know I’ve suffered from it most of my life, but that’s only one source of anxiety and there are many others.

I don’t come across as an anxious person. Most people would say that I present as confident, authoritative even. I’m one of those people that looks, on the surface, to be calm like a swan, but below the surface, I’m pedalling like crazy (which swans also do, I believe!). I’ll overthink things and take it all terribly seriously. I need to lighten up and I do try, honestly I do. I know full well that almost all the stuff I worry about never happens, and if the worse does happen, it invariably works out; all that worry was wasted effort.

People joke about therapy and how the counsellor will inevitably take you back to your childhood. It all stems from there right? I didn’t have a miserable childhood by any stretch of the imagination but it wasn’t idyllic either. Was anyone’s? My parents divorced in the 1970’s, which was unusual then. I spent years insisting that it didn’t affect me but, of course, it did.

So much of our personality is set in those early years, and they can significantly shape how life turns out. But it isn’t the whole story. I’m a massive believer in the fact that each of us can shape and shift our lives to fit better with who and what we want to be. I genuinely believe that. It takes work, but it’s a worthwhile investment because who wants to spend their lives blaming their childhood for everything that goes wrong? Not me, that’s for sure.

I haven’t eliminated anxiety from my life, far from it. I tell people that if I didn’t have something to worry about, then I’d invent something. I’m part joking, but there is an element of hard truth in every joke isn’t there? I have a tendency to worry about things I can’t control and/or predict, especially at night. Being conscious of it is half the battle; acknowledging that, yes, childhood hang ups do loiter, but I have effective strategies to combat them.

All our lives are a balancing act, don’t you think? Feeling anxious can sometimes be debilitating, but in other ways it makes me appreciate the joy I experience in my life. Learning to recognise and overcome anxieties can also be incredibly rewarding and I can look back on many a triumph with quiet pride. Balance is all important and, if you experience anxiety, then I sincerely hope you also know joy in your life.

notes to my younger self Download
03/12/2025
How phases in life can echo the seasons …
```
... be wise to the season
you’ve welcomed in
and know it will 
and can change ...
```
I love the fact that I live in the UK where we do still have seasons. Talking about the weather is a national pastime isn’t it? The constantly shifting conditions keep us on our toes, and I like that. Having a weekend away? Pack for every eventuality. Organising a family BBQ? Have a back up plan. Our weather encourages forward thinking and flexibility, a habit worth cultivating.

The fact that the seasons herald change reminds me that change is constant in other aspects of my life. I am lucky in that I’m not prone to depression and do not suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I grew up in Lancashire, where it rained a lot. It never stopped me doing anything. You just grabbed your cagoule and out you went. But I know that for some, SAD is real and often debilitating.

There have been times when I’ve felt that I’m stuck in winter, irrespective of the time of year. At times, when my workload felt overwhelming, it was as if a cloud was hanging over me, blocking out the sun.

When you are stuck like that, a change of scenery can sometimes help. I was in Orkney a few years ago, feeling exhausted and work-weary. Watching the landscape relax into autumn helped me let go of some of my stress. When you think about it, nature has so much to teach us. We humans are not designed to be on the go the whole time. We need spurts of growth yes, but equally we must honour fallow times, when we can gather our energy for the next thing. We can’t carry everything with us but must learn to let go of aspects of life that no longer serve us. Only then, I think, can we welcome new growth. The trees know this but it seems that we’ve forgotten.

Lots of us may feel stuck in a situation or a mindset that we feel we can’t escape. But we can. We can’t control the weather or influence the cycle of the seasons (let’s not get into the climate change debate … that’s a whole other story) but we can adapt. Equally, we can’t always control the situations in which we might feel stuck, but we can always change how we respond.

If ever in doubt … just get outside and be in nature. It might just help.

landscape Download
03/09/2025