Tag: 2019

How paying attention enriches your life …
```
"... this sense of peace 
typifies the way 
you always 
made me feel 
my stride confident 
because of you ..."
```
Earlier this month, on what was a grey, dreary day, I rustled up a quick dessert, to pop in my fridge ready for friends coming for dinner the following day. So far, so good. Except it wasn’t as quick as it should’ve been. Trying to do two things at once, I let a pan boil over, ruining the cream that should be hot but not boiling. The second attempt was easier. I slowed down. Concentrated. Not that you need much concentration for this painfully simply but delicious pudding, but you do need to pay attention!

When I cook or bake, I often listen to music, but other times, I prefer silence. Silence prompts thoughts that otherwise might not make it through the noise. Mopping up the mess on the stove, I soaked up the silence, reflecting on why paying attention matters on many levels.

American poet, Mary Oliver, inspired her readers to pay attention to the world around them, most particularly nature. In her poem, Yes! No!, she announced: To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. (from her collection, Owls and Other Fantasies, 2003). I think so much of poetry is a testament to how poets pay attention to the world around and within them. I used to always carry a notebook and pen wherever I went, just in case an idea came to me that I simply had to record. I learnt the hard way that hoping I’d remember it when I got home simply didn’t work. I never did remember. For the same reason, I kept a notebook on my bedside table. The notebook by the bed still exists, but these days I rely on my phone to record my thoughts when I am out and about. It’s perhaps not as romantic as a lovely notebook, but it’s certainly easier to read the typeset rather than my dreadful handwriting!

I’m blessed to have met and befriended people in my life who have inspired and encouraged me to pay attention, to look deeper, to be open to differing perspectives, and to be curious. Whilst preparing that dessert, I was thinking most particularly of one such friend, who was a very talented artist (and many other things besides). I stayed at her house many times over the years and she often made this same dessert. I enjoyed it immensely and finally asked her for the recipe. I’ve no idea what she called it, but in our house it is simply “Veronica’s Dessert”. I think of her every time I make it. It feels particularly pertinent in February because this is the month in which she died. Unlike the weather this year, it was mild on the day I heard the sad news; I was walking through the streets, under a bright winter moon. I was about to meet another friend for dinner, to celebrate her birthday.

That night, we also celebrated Veronica; she had lived such a rich, creative life. She was over twice my age, yet we gelled almost immediately and were firm friends for over 30 years. She was one of the most generous, engaging and inspirational women I’ve ever met. This week’s poem is one I wrote for her, which I read at her funeral. I’ll be honest, it’s not the most literary poem I’ve ever written, but it is heartfelt. Sometimes, we all just need to be reminded to focus on what truly matters in life. This blog is all about connection through creativity after all.

Perhaps there are people in your life that have been truly inspirational? I hope so. For me, the best people, are those in whose presence we feel enriched. They encourage us to pay more attention to life, to be the best version of ourselves and to show up for others in the ways they have showed up for us. I hope you can spend the rest of this day paying particular attention to what matters most to you.

Here’s Veronica’s recipe: Ingredients – 6 oz good plain chocolate, 1/2 pint of single cream, 1x egg, dash of salt, 1 tsp of vanilla essence. Method – Heat cream until hot but not boiling. Break up the chocolate into separate squares and place into a bowl. Pour the hot cream over the chocolate. Beat until the chocolate has fully melted. Then add the remaining ingredients and mix until smooth. Pour the mixture into 6-8 individual pots and refrigerate until approx 1 hour before consumption. This is a rich dessert and you don’t need a lot of it. I usually serve with a shortbread biscuit and some fresh or stewed fruit, depending on the season. (It also freezes well!)

winter moon Download
18/02/2026
When relationships runs their course …
```
"... it’s not easy to let go 
when relationships 
run their course 
memories 
sometimes surface 
rising waves 
lapping your shore ..."
```
I’m an introvert through and through and, in my world, small is beautiful. I don’t have a huge number of friends and never have. I like to keep things simple. I remember people telling me at various stages of my life … school, university, and workplace … “you will make friends here that will stay friends for life”. I came away from each significant milestone with maybe one good friend from that same period. That was enough for me.

That said, I’m fiercely loyal and take my friendships very seriously. I invest a lot of myself in my friends and my girlfriends, in particular, are precious to me.

It’s true though, isn’t it, that some people are in your life, perhaps intensely, for a short period and others for the long haul. It isn’t always easy to see that at the time. At least, I don’t think so.

I’ve met many older women over the years who have taken me under their wing and advised me never to rely on anyone, but to stand on my own two feet. Wise words indeed. But in my mind, they were talking about intimate partners. Surely friendships were different? They are different, but can be equally difficult, if not more so.

I’ve found it harder in many ways to let go of friends than partners. Despite the fact that women have long celebrated their girlfriends, I think we still lack the vocabulary to talk about love and loss in friendship.

There’s always been a part of me yearning for connection with others, despite my leanings towards introspection. I thrived as a manager and leader at work because I loved supporting and mentoring others, but only as long as I could return home every night to recharge my batteries in the quiet of my study.

I’m a contradiction of sorts, I suppose. I want to feel like I belong with others, and yet at the same time, I want to opt out when it suits me. Is that so unusual I wonder? I was deeply hurt on two occasions when close friends chose to walk away from me. One came back to me, for which I was eternally grateful and another tried, but I closed the door on her because it felt like the right thing to do. I’ve felt guilty about that, but I’ve trusted my instinct and stuck with it. I still think it’s the right choice. Equally, I’ve been the one ending friendships, because it felt to me they had run their course.

As I’ve grown older I think back on the advice those amazing women gave me when I was, in truth, incredibly naive and thus vulnerable. In the end, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. Most of us are blessed to be able to share our lives with people we love, including friends; I know I am, and hope never to take them for granted.

Equally, I hope I stay true to myself, knowing when to steer my own course. See, I told you I was full of contradictions!

Skeins of geese Download
17/09/2025
Why distance gives you perspective …
```
"... it shouldn’t take 
new places 
to bring me 
back to myself 
I shouldn’t always              
be lost 
in order 
to be found ..."
```
By the time you read this, I will be in another country, embarking on a long trip that will take me across the North Sea and the Atlantic in a camper van crammed with provisions from home. I will be excited and full of anticipation for the adventure that awaits. But as I sit here in my study, listening to the dawn chorus, my head is still full of lists of last-minute jobs, whilst internally I try to calm the butterflies in my stomach.

There’s something about the lead up to a holiday that always feels a bit fraught. Packing the camper van invariably takes twice as long as expected and, without fail, something happens that seems to put the whole thing in jeopardy. A family member might fall ill, we discover a mechanical fault or, suddenly, we can’t find the passports.

When it comes to travel, I think folk are in one of two camps: there are those (like me) who start to pack well in advance and those (like you perhaps?) who leave it to the last minute. There’s no right or wrong is there?

I already know that by the time I embark that boat, I’ll be calm, all the panic behind me. I do love to travel! I was 19 when I first travelled abroad and will never forget the smell of Mediterranean air and the rush of heat as I emerged from the plane. I met people on that trip that have remained friends. I saw and experienced things that shaped me as a young woman, helping me navigate life at university and beyond.

Of course, life gets in the way and before you know it, your world becomes a whole lot bigger and more complicated. In a life that is increasingly busy and stressful, holidays become a haven. That has certainly been my experience. Over the years, as I gained more responsibility both personally and professionally, my summer break was extended from two weeks to three. Simply put, it took most of the first week to unwind and relax. Does that sound crazy or, dare I say it, familiar?

When life gets too hectic and you need to slow it down, it helps to travel. Of course, in theory, there’s no reason why you can’t take time out at home. No reason at all right? Except there’s that thing you’ve been meaning to do that, when you stop, you can’t ignore. Is it the garden that needs sorting, or a room you’ve been meaning to decorate? It’s so tempting to fill so-called time off with long-neglected jobs.

But travel is so much more than just a distraction: it’s an opportunity to see life from a different perspective; broaden your horizons; meet new people; spend time enjoying the company of loved ones. And if you’ve been a bit lost, you might just find yourself again; I know I have.

I wrote this poem, not at the beginning of a holiday, but as it was ending. I had spent three amazing weeks in Norway and the poem came to me as I was packing my bag to return home. I’d arrived exhausted, and was returning refreshed. This was my typical pattern, to work like a demon and use a holiday to recover. It’s a strategy many adopt. Just this week, a friend told me that she’s “clinging on at work”, desperate for the break she has booked at the end of the month.

This will be my first overseas trip since retirement in the spring; it doesn’t have to be the remedy that so many other trips have been. I’m excited to explore how it will help shape the next chapter of my life.

I hope you’ve had the opportunity to take a holiday this summer; if not, my wish for you is that you can create some genuine time off for yourself in the midst of what I bet is a busy life.

Remedy Download
20/08/2025