"... I am glad of this life
though it’s not what I planned
the rural retreat
with its long lazy days
not the idyll
it first appeared ..."
At the turn of the century, way back in 2001, I took a career break, to coincide with my husband’s early retirement. We went to live abroad for a few years, which was an adventure to say the least. As I approached 40, I chose to go back to the UK and my full time job. People thought I was crazy. It took a while to sell our house and for a few years, we commuted between two countries, before finally settling back in Yorkshire.
This week’s poem comes from that time, partly inspired by Helen Dunmore, who read some of her poems in York as part of the York Literature Festival in 2008. I was in the audience and completely captivated. She’d recently published a collection of poems titled Glad of These Times and read the title poem. Now, don’t quote me on this, because whilst I feel this was the right year and the right event, I can now find no trace of it in my journal! She certainly came to York and I heard her read that poem. In any case, my homage-poem still rings true for me, despite my circumstances having changed repeatedly since then.
It’s a timely reminder that life does continue to evolve; whether you’re having a great life, or it feels tough right now, be assured that change will come. It always does; not only for us but for our planet as a whole. Even our landscapes are constantly shifting: I read in the news just recently that the black sand at Reynisfjara Beach in Iceland has disappeared back into the sea following a violent storm.
The truth is, nothing stays the same, which can feel both liberating and anxiety-inducing at the same time. If you find yourself torn between those two emotions, then try bringing yourself back to the present. That’s probably what you can most influence.
I felt glad to go back to work and pick up aspects of my life in the UK in the early 2000’s. I appreciated all the more the things I had missed when abroad: routine, purpose, bookshops and the opportunity to catch up with a friend over coffee, to name but a few. People assumed that our life abroad must have been better. It wasn’t better, it was just different. I was glad of the experience but equally glad to be home.
Now, I’m embarking on another life chapter, having recently retired. I’m ready to explore new opportunities, many of which will be extensions of activities I already enjoyed such as writing, cycling and keeping fit. It’s so important I think to make time for things that bring you joy now, in whatever present you’re in. Don’t wait. Do it now. Make it happen in a way that will work for you, even if it means compromise. Some joy is better than none at all, right?
I feel sure that some people reading this will be thinking, it’s okay for you to say that, now you’re retired. Yes I appreciate that. But I haven’t spent the intervening years between that career break and retirement wishing my life away. I’ve loved the challenges that work posed and fully embraced them. I enjoyed my job. But I loved my time off too and crammed in as much as I could, and I’ll continue to do so because it’s true what they say about retirement: time passes very quickly indeed!
I was so lucky recently to be able to spend a couple of days hiking with my slightly older cousin, who is also retired. My younger cousin, who still works full time, couldn’t join us. I sensed his frustration but I hope he stays anchored in the now and able to enjoy both work and play in equal measure. One day soon, perhaps he’ll join us on a hike, even if it means snatching precious time from an already busy schedule. That’s life isn’t it and we either embrace it or resent it. I, for one, am glad of it.
fi wynne writes 