"... there’s a rhythm
to all this
life’s moods
as cyclical as the moon
I’m minded that
when life feels tough
this too will pass ..."
In my experience, you can’t beat a trip to the sea to recover your sense of perspective. There’s something about the constancy of lapping waves that reminds me that, despite all the things I may worry about, nature carries on doing its thing.
I regularly fall into the trap of thinking I have some control over my life. Yes, yes, there are some things I can control to some degree. I do my best to eat healthy, stay fit, live within my means etc. But you only have to look back to the Covid years to remember that none of us can ever predict what might be round the next corner. There’s a balance to be found somewhere between taking responsibility for aspects of your life and accepting that, actually, most of it is beyond your control. I’ve never managed to find that balance and have to admit to being a bit of a control freak.
It often seems to happen that when I think I’m in control, life has a way of reminding me that I’m not. Sometimes this is a welcome lesson, other times less so; usually it’s a bit of both.
My busy working life felt more manageable when I made to-do-lists. I managed my work calendar with dedicated blocks of time for various tasks, and home life followed suite. It was exhausting and often quite stressful. But I didn’t dare let go of the little control I thought I had, because I feared it would all come crashing down around me. The only time I truly allowed myself time to relax was on holiday.
This poem was written in the Orkneys when, at last, I slowed my pace to match that of island life. I watched the breaking waves, spellbound by the rhythms and the sounds of the sea. My inner spirit soaring with the many seabirds, my skin free of make up, my hair knotted and wild. I found out on that holiday that I hadn’t even made it through the paper sift for a promotion (yes, ashamedly, I checked my inbox). It was a disappointment, but also a relief, which was a lesson in itself.
I had the sea to remind me that life goes on, promotion or no promotion. I can choose to accept it or not. I choose to fully embrace life as best I can. Some days that’s easy, some days not so easy. But it’s always worth the effort.
fi wynne writes 