"... weakness
is our backlight
revealing the cracks
by which we navigate
I don’t want
to live a lie
my fault lines
are battle scars
I am proud to show ..."
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s noticed the massive culture shift in recent decades towards mental health. It’s no longer a taboo subject. In fact, I know a lot of people will say, “it’s all gone too far”, but I disagree.
It’s widely accepted these days that mental health is just as important as physical health. But it wasn’t always that way. I remember how my grandmother’s generation would talk in hushed tones about other women (always women!) who had “trouble with their nerves”. I had no idea what they meant but I just knew, from their whispering, that it was something to hide, and about which never to speak.
I think, as a society, we regarded people with mental health issues as a tribe apart from the rest of us, which is ridiculous. We all have mental health which can fluctuate constantly; all the more reason I think to be aware of it and to tend to it in ourselves and others.
Whilst it has certainly been easier for my generation, some prejudice remains deep rooted. I’ve been told countless times by work colleagues, managers, friends and family members, not to show weakness because others will exploit it. I know they meant well and were undoubtedly looking out for me, but it never felt right.
It’s taken me years to accept myself for who I am, worts and all. I reached a point in life, probably around my 50’s, when something shifted in me. I cared less about what other people thought and more about how I saw myself. Instead of saying and doing what I thought others expected of me, I started to challenge the norm. A lot of the time, I realised that my assumptions were unfounded. People didn’t necessarily have those expectations at all. Now, that was a revelation!
I gained more confidence to just be myself; choosing to embrace my authenticity as a superpower. As I result, I genuinely believe I’ve gained wide respect, but not from everyone. People have told me not to be so honest; called me out for oversharing on social media; sought to rein me in. They said it was from a place of love, but I felt suffocated rather than protected. Perhaps their intention and my response were both valid.
In the last decade, vulnerability has become quite the in-thing. Brené Brown and her now growing catalogue of books has taken the world by storm. Amen to that! But she wasn’t the first by a long stretch. I have long been a fan of Leonard Cohen and it was he, that largely misunderstood genius of a poet, who wrote in his song Ring Those Bells, “there are cracks in everything, that’s how the light gets in”. I love that idea and will take it further … it’s two way. The light shines in and emanates back out to the world. The more we let in, the greater we shine.
fi wynne writes 